“We are all so afraid, we are all so alone, we all so need from the outside the assurance of our own worthiness to exist."

The world is truly explosive with beauty. right now. but also, all the time, I just don't always have the eyes to see that, you know?

Yeah, I guess everything reminds you of something, but you're not everything anymore, thankfully. I think of you sometimes, but not a lot. I decided in the end of 2008 that I would no longer knowingly hurt myself. I would not fall in love with people who don't give a shit about me. I would not write long letters to people who never read them. I would focus my energy and love on people who care (a bit). Because it's not good to hurt yourself. Didn't Thom York sing "You do it to yourself, you do, and that's why it really hurts?" Words of wisdom.

We are given life, and yes we all have mental disorders, but we have to overcome them and try to love and spoon and help other people because they're just as lost and scared as we are (most likely). Let's not waste our lives on thinking of people who don't even know our names. They probably don't know their own name. Let's just fake our names and run away.

So,

Today was explosive with beauty because not once did I think of anyone with longing. I looked at my life straight in the eye and realized that some people were not the people I wished them to be. Impressionism, impressionism. Reading Ford Maddox Ford's "The Good Soldier" was a revelation for me. You should read it, too, but mostly you should just hold the door for people, smile at strangers, let your fellow student borrow your notes, send valentines to your loved ones, send your nephew Halloween candy or Izze drinks, give change to the nice fellows playing music on your street, dance a lot, and tell your family/friends/folks you love them supremely.