secure spoon

i'm drinking peppermint tea. my sister made it for me. she feels the need to take care of me. i think she sees me as being very fragile. i constantly shatter things- i just broke this big glass pan. The glass went flying everywhere... I got cuts all over my legs, my toes, my fingertips.

I'm not dysfunctional. I can do things. I am very independent in the sense of how I conduct myself, obsessively so. I don't like anyone to control my behaviour, at all. But I do like people to comfort me. I like to snuggle and spoon and hug because it makes me feel I am in the cocoon, I am not vulnerable anymore, I am safe.

I think I only feel really safe in my dreams.